MARY'S PRAYER CONNECTION

A new website for Primary Caregivers will soon be up and running. This website is a place where primary caregivers can share ideas on how to care for themselves while providing care for a loved one. The website address is www.carecounts.org hosted by Webs.com.

Very often caregivers become so involved with caring for others they forget to care for themselves. This is an easy trap to fall into unless we stop and take a hard look at what we are doing to ourself. We can find we are completely exhausted and not really able to function well.

It is easy to fall into the trap of rising each day exhausted, depressed and on edge. We can begin to make mistakes regarding medications. We fail to remember times and dates and even forget to order medications. Sometimes it seems every moment of every day we are doing something for someone else. Being a primary caregiver for a loved one does not require us to live day after day neglecting self while doing for others.

Caring for a loved one at home can be very much like caring for small children. Remeber the times when you felt as though you did not even have to time use the bathroom. Taking warm shower was the one thing you craved. Well, caring for a loved one without caring for yourself leads us down the same path.

A caregiver cannot give what he or she does not have. It takes a lot of energy and time to be a good caregiver, but it is also necessary to take care of self to avoid becoming sick yourself. Sleeping well at night wipes the slate clean and provides the necessary energy for the next day. Staying up late at night to do housework or other things is an unwise and destructive habit to fall into for primary caregivers.

Rest is a real necessity even if it means calling in a family member, a friend or neighbor to care for your loved one or two nights a week. You can then take the night off and get a good nights sleep. During the day when your loved one is taking a nap is not a time to scrub a floor, wash the dishes or run the sweeper. No, it is a time to sit down, prop up your feet and read a good book, talk on the phone with someone or even take a nap.

Housework can and does wait! Dirty dishes are not going anywhere, they will be there when you have had some rest.  The washer works when you are resting so there is no need to run the washer just because there are some soiled cloths. Take care of self first because these things can and will always wait. However,  your personal needs  and those of your loved one cannot be put off until later.

The point is we as primary caregivers have a need to become creative in the way we manage the little time we have. After our loved one we are second and housework, cooking and cleaning are third, fourth and fifth on the list. Furthermore, quality time with our loved ones during their waking hours is important to them and us.

When our nerves are frayed because we are exhausted can easily cause us to be on edge and irritable while giving direct care to our loved one. Then we have to deal with the guilt we feel because we were rude or harsh with the very person we do not want to treat this way.

So, before getting to the point of exhaustion stop and make a list of all you do each day and decide how you can better manage your tasks and take better care of yourself. Providing quality care is important and can only be present when have the energy and strength to provide it.